The Year That Was 2010

My intent for 2010 and was authenticity. In January I wrote:

“To live one’s life according to the needs of one’s inner being, rather than the demands of society or one’s early conditioning.”

The word that expresses my intention for 2010 is authenticity. It is a derivative of the word author. I will write my own fairy tale, I will be true to my inner being and I will celebrate my imperfection.

How will I know that I am living and authentic life?

I will cease to feel guilty, unworthy or not enough. I will be free from the expectations of others. I will liberate all the aspects of my true self I have hidden for so long.

I will not worry and work because of what the future might hold, I will live with gratitude and love in the moment. I will go easily and allow my inner flame to be so bright that it dazzles everyone who crosses my path.

I will experience all my emotions and not shut myself off to stay safe. I will laugh, cry, bleed and heal and the scars will soften and fade away.

I will be the divine creature that I came into the world to be. To be anything less is no longer an option.

This moment, this day, this week, this month, this year will explode with miracles beyond my wildest imagination because I have finally exposed my vulnerability to myself and to the world.

It’s Showtime!

Little did I know that this simple intention would change my entire universe.

Nothing is the same. As 2010 ends I am completely different.

This year I have seen my marriage die emotionally and literally. The person I spent almost 20 years of my life with no longer breathes or moves on this earth. I have cried more tears than I ever have before. My heart has been broken and left bleeding.

I have left behind all that defined me. I no longer have the same name, the same marital status, the same house, the same furniture or the same job. Everything that was familiar and easy has been stripped away.

I am truly my authentic self. I no longer hide away in the shadows of perfectionism and good behaviour. I am vulnerable and exposed keeping nothing secret.

And as a result, the miracles just keep coming. I am truly, madly, deeply in love for the first time in my life. I have discovered intimacy and connection is the only way to experience joy and purpose.

I have surrendered control of my circumstances and welcome each moment of pain and happiness equally. The adventure of truly living all of the extremes is far more exciting than living the flat line of conformity.

I believe that the three pillars of life are love, truth and power. Each one must have equal attention. In 2010 my focus was on embracing the truth of who I was and finding and expressing deep love.

In 2011 I will turn my attention to my power – the ability to consciously and deliberately create the world around me. I will take the strong foundation of love and truth in my life and use it to create a life that has deep and lasting meaning.

You are the only one who creates in your experience—no one else. Everything that comes to you comes by the power of your thought. If there are changes you would like to make, it will be of great value to begin telling a different story—not only about your body, but about all subjects that have been troubling to you. As you begin to positively focus, getting to feel so good about so many subjects, you will begin to feel the power that creates worlds flowing through you.

— Abraham

About KatieP

Embracing my midlife sexy while exploring modern love & relationships • Devoted to all things beautiful • Master of Arts in creative writing & non-fiction writing • Join the hottest group on FB → Sassy Ageless Women