I asked a group of 268 sassy women to tell me the one thing they wished men (or their sexual partners of either sex) knew about them. Here are some of their answers.
1 — Just because you think something should feel good doesn’t mean it makes me feel good.
2 — Sometimes I just want to talk about my feelings and get a hug.
3 — Turning down sex doesn’t mean we don’t think you’re attractive or we don’t want you… maybe we just had a bad day. Don’t make a big deal out of it.
4 — Sometimes we are just not going to get “there”. It doesn’t mean it wasn’t good.
5 — Porn action does not cross over into the real world.
6 — If I tell you I don’t like something, trying it anyway will definitely kill the mood.
7 — Pinching the nipples does not turn me on – at all.
8 — It rarely works if you try to engage my crotch first.
9 — Learn how to be a great kisser. It’s important.
10 — Dick pics won’t make us wanna get it on.
11 — It’s not wee.
12 — My erogenous zones are not only my boobs and vagina.
13 — We really do masturbate.
14 — If I fantasize about something, it doesn’t mean I want to live it for real.
What about you? What do you wish your sexual partners knew about sex?
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Always try new things 😉 Run your fingers through my hair. It’s the simple touch.
New things, yes!
Sex for me starts by engaging my brain–it’s where my eroticism begins.
Ask, don’t assume.
I may want it as much as you do.
Good points, well made x
Katie, this is so true and so funny all at the same time. 😉
Thank you Lisa, I’m glad you enjoyed it.
The things guys need to know about sex are more subtle than outlined in this article—at least if he wants to be thought of a real lover—rather than someone who wants physical sex.
The first thing that guys need to learn, and rarely do, is that a woman’s g spot is between her ears—her ‘erogenous zone’ is just the rest of her body. If he can tap into that bit of knowledge, he becomes the greatest lover in the world. He can make words render her to an emotional jelly, run riot inside her head so that she will orgasm on command, with no more than the softest word or meaningful look or lightest touch.
Another bit of essential learning is that A woman is a creature of need. But sometimes the need is intense, sometimes it just isn’t. There’s nothing wrong, just times when the urge just isn’t there. So wait until those moments when the urge is there, when she rises to express that need and insists on sex….much better that attempting to persuade her on her ‘off’ days. She’ll always say when the time is right, especially if she knows that her man isn’t going to want sex when she isn’t in the mood for it—that just leads to mediocre sex, then boring sex—and eventually no sex at all.
Well I might get to all that when I write my book.
In the meantime, you’ll have to put up with my flippant, surface level blog posts 😉
I am very sorry to ask this, but I must. What in the works does it mean for number 11? Does it mean what I think it means?
My wife is not wired that way. She is never in the mood, and she admits it. She has to decide to start, and then she might get in the mood. By her own admission we’d be waiting a very long time for her to get in the mood.
I think this is brilliant. Another good read x
Thank you Kathy ♥
Men should realize women get aroused by help. When my husband empties the dishwasher (once in a while) that actually turns me on. Sad but true!
I help around the cleaning doing wash making the bed cooking etc. It has not helped.
Flattery will get you everywhere. Tell me I smell good as you kiss my neck. Tell me my ass feels tight after Zumba class. Talk to me, his words are foreplay. Thanks Katie for another great read.
This made me giggle. Having just turned 44, I’ve noticed very subtle “girly” changes lately. Like you, starting in the crotch – not helpful. Making it worse, him removing the precious little amounts of bodily fluid I have down there really makes things not so fun for me :/ So my tip to men: please try that thing called foreplay and please stay away from the crotch until you’re good and ready to use it. Cuz let’s face it, at 44, his parts don’t work the way they used to either. ????
I don’t know totally why but I agree with all that facts. Sometimes man think we have to want them always. Or we have to be on fire as soon as they kiss.
Communication is important, I’ve had conversations with my wife for her to just think of thoughts that really turn her on, it could be magic mike or it could be the attractive bloke who she saw in the supermarket or even the erotic dream she had last night, if not just the moment of me working my way around her body, I completely agree that for both of us to achieve a satisfying experience it has to revolve around her mind, the plus side is hearing her enjoying herself is enough for me.
I’ve had this analogy that sex for me is like a journey across a frozen lake, it’s very thin ice and my destination is the other side, if I run (jackhammer) I fall through, if I go to slow the ice melts (excitement fades), but if I can go at a steady pace and read the path I need to take (spotting what she likes & doesn’t like) I will make it to the other side.
Sorry but I had to edit your comment because it was longer than my original post 🙂
Oh and before I forget, all women are different, if touch wood me and my wife were to ever divorce or something happened to her I would literally be back to square one.
We can read the cosmopolitans and the like or even men’s fitness but for some reason they seem to think all women are the same when they come up with the same old list of “how to please a woman”, I can certainly confirm that they in the bedroom are completely different, women may have the same anatomy but they are all different species when trying to sexually please them.
It’s like learning to play the guitar and then moving on to the violin, you can read the notes but it’s different.
Very interesting.
2 H 40 IT
I like looking at strangers cocks buldging in their pants I really feel an urge to try a really big one my husband is only 7 inches how would I explaine this need I feel to my husband
Lol, wow, who ARE these women??
Ok, here’s a completely opposite one to add to the list, “We have a Safe Word for a reason… go ahead and explore your fantasies, ‘Cause they turn me on, too”. Not everyone is into completely vanilla sex like these women seem to be. Not a bad thing…. but don’t discount us Kinky Girls!!
I definitely agree with taping into a womans mind. If you can connect with her emotionally, intellectually et cetera… that is the mist important part. As a few of you have said also, you do not just go for the crotch. Everything begins for the top(he mind) to her toes. And then, you may earn the pretty flower. It is a privilege to be able to experience a woman’s most intimate embrace and should be treated as such. At the same time, all women are different and a man must continually adapt to each woman’s wants, needs and desires. It is a constant challenge, and you always need to have new ideas. Brush her hair, rub her down like a gentleman without expecting sex at the end. Give that extra help around the house, surprise her every single day, leave sticky notes with dirty thing on them around the house for her to find, or ones that say she’s beautiful and delicious. Get HER wound up and tease HER, make HER want it from YOU. These are the things that make life fun and interesting. It’s always a journey and what beautiful creatures women are to understand.
Disagree with #5 – if you both want it to it can.
Appreciate the suggestions
I get in such a rut, I want my husband to be spontaneous out of the bedroom and even the house. Different places like the song Love in an elevator would be great with a lot of innocent teasing and touching not just grab and go
I have to agree with that. Communication is the key. If nothing is talked about then nothing will ever work. Of course you also have to be honest with yourself and your partner. If you are married and are having trouble in the bedroom then you are probably having trouble in other areas too. Sometimes we just need to stop and look at ourselves. There are so many different reasons why things just don’t get better. Mostly because there was no communication from the start. But I really do believe that men are sometimes just too selfish to even care about his partner. lol When I was a kid, I really believed that dogs were all males and cats were all female. Guys need to actually be just like a good dog. Loyal, trusting, protect the person they love , work hard play hard and never expect anything in return but a nice belly rub. Believe me guys, you will suddenly be her favorite. But the bottom line is that you have to communicate. And above all, don’t push. Just saying.
The most fascinating part of this debate is how it runs and runs over such a long time.
so few seem to manage an emotional connection—the linking of minds.
variety must be infinite—yes it is possible never to repeat yourself, and make this time better than the last, and the last time the best there ever was
a woman’s body—all of it—is one erogenous zone, few men seem to understand that and just grab the bits they think they should—which is a pity, they miss so much of the other good stuff.
this maybe explains it better:
https://myerotica.com/my-g-spot-is-between-my-ears-stupid-e427fefed868