Women seem to have the hardest time with overeating, dieting and obsessing about food. Perhaps the reason for this is that most women have a feminine essence which desires the sensation of fullness. A masculine essence, on the other hand, it all about finding peace and nothingness and is illustrated in their need to zone out (beer, football, computer games, extreme sports).
It doesn’t serve us to try and use the masculine tools in our path to happiness. All the advice that tell us to be the ‘observer’, to stand outside our thoughts and feelings just makes us feel more empty. Is it any wonder we try to fill up on food?
How then do we find a fullness in life that doesn’t leave us empty and yearning?
The simplest answer is love. You are no more or no less than pure love. It is inside you, in every cell in your body, in the air you breathe, and in every single emotion you feel. Why would we want to suppress who we are?
The feminine essence is light, life, change and chaos. We are programmed to feel deeply and when we try to divorce ourselves from our feelings we separate ourselves from who we really are.
In practice, this means fully experiencing the joy, the sadness, the anger, the pain and the hopelessness. Don’t bother trying to find a “better feeling thought” — wallow in the full extreme of the emotion.
Breathe into it, feel it in your body, surrender to the wave of sensation and it will quickly pass. Even though I am sad/mad/bad it is an expression of my divine love. I honour my feelings as the expression of being awake and alive.
Open your heart. Imagine your heart as a ball of hot white energy that shines into every corner of your body and mind, and then out into the world. As you walk past people in the street, direct your heart’s glow into the space around you and watch people turn their heads to look at you.
Relax your chest and belly, loosen your hips and unclench your hands and buttocks. Feel light and liquid as you breathe in the energy from the air, trees and the earth.
As you move through the world feeling love in your entire body, you will feel and be seen as radiance.
It is scary and risky at first, but as you surrender to becoming the physical embodiment of love, you will feel wonderfully full and content. You won’t have to try to love yourself, for you will be love.
Be careful though — opening your heart will make you extremely sexually attractive, so don’t get yourself into trouble! Once you realise beauty has nothing to do with the size of your thighs or the colour of your hair you are free from the prison of not feeling good enough.
When you are full of love and secure in the knowledge that you are a divine goddess, you no longer obsess over what to eat and what exercise to do. You eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full and move your body in ways that give you pleasure and delight.
Love is truly the opposite of fat.
≡
Great post! I’ve never thought about the fact that women are “programmed to feel deeply” but that makes perfect sense when you consider that mother nature intended for us to be mothers. Though of course there are exceptions to that rule 😉
It’s not a gender quality but rather an energetic one – we all have various levels of feminine energy (even men). But for those of us who identify with the feminine, a sense of fullness is important.
THIS. This just blew my mind. I think you should do a whole post just expanding on that. There are so many things this touches on.
Ahh, this so resonates with my thoughts, all about fulfillment, not subtracting, feel who & what you are, very moment to the fullest. I talk about this to women in my studio every time, there’s always mention about lack, and one day when…
I hope this post goes viral and really hits some strings with your auduence!
Thank you as always for on the point topics,
Ben
Thank you Ben. I appreciate your wonderful support.
Hi Katie! I love this perspective about eating and women–and have never heard this before (and I’ve heard and read A LOT about loving and appreciating ourselves.) It makes sense that women are trying to “fill” something when they crave eating, while men typically try to “empty” by zoning out. By the same token, women are attempting to fill up that space within them when they shop and buy crap they don’t need or stuff their homes full of clothing, shoes, and chotchkies. As you say, love is really the only thing that can fill that emptiness and I appreciate your suggestion on how to do that. ~Kathy
Thanks Kathy – yes, it’s not only food but also shopping as you rightly point out. Thank you for adding to the conversation.
This is SO much truth, Katie! Great post. I often note the very masculine way that we continually attempt to approach weight loss as women, through heavy structure, restriction and with absolutely no allowance for or connection to our emotions. This often works so freaking well for men but is completely ass backwards in supporting that feminine need for flow and being full of life. This explains beautifully why that is the case.
Thanks for your comment, Lori – your summary is brilliant!